Sometimes, we assume that it is always the adult that influences the child’s behavior. But the research literature is filled with examples where it works the other way, too. For example, this research showed that children’s behavior had a huge effect on the teaching behaviors of the adults. The adults were working with a pair of preschoolers; one who engaged in problem behavior, and one who didn’t. The adults tended to spend much more time teaching the child who didn’t engage in problem behavior, and when the adults did engage with the child with problem behavior, they presented much easier tasks. The child with problem behavior shaped the adults to avoid interacting with him or her, and when the adults did interact, they were shaped to provide easier materials.
In most situations, we should expect this effect—children shaping the adults—to occur. When there are multiple teachers, paraprofessionals, parents, grandparents, siblings, daycare workers, babysitters, nannies, and others interacting with a child, there is just no way to prevent this effect from occurring under practical conditions. If you work with a child that has potential for significant problem behaviors, I believe you should start with the assumption that the child is shaping the adults with those behaviors.
If that’s true, it has two important implications for effective treatment. First, be very skeptical of frequency of problem behavior data. The data might be low, but if the data are low because the child is shaping the adults to avoid doing things he or she doesn’t like, it is very unlikely to maintain over time. Everyone is happy when problem behavior is low, but if it doesn’t last, no one will be happy in the long run. Second, it is essential that we work hard to discover what the adults are doing that is preventing the problem behavior. In my experience, there are a huge number of possibilities. If you don’t know, there is no way to adequately plan the next steps for treatment.