If you have never been to NY, you might never have had a real bagel. But you might have had some fat, round Wonder bread with a hole in the middle that some people mistakenly call bagels. It is hard for me to understand how people consume those. You can occasionally find a real bagel outside of the NY metro area. For example, I was in a southern town that had bagels flown in from New York daily. They were expensive, but great if you wanted to eat a real bagel.
We often like things the way we are used to them. People who grew up eating fat pieces of round wonder bread with a hole in the middle probably get some enjoyment from eating them, as hard as that is to imagine. I guess if you spread enough cream cheese or butter on them, they might be palatable?
Sometimes, people think the desire for sameness is just a characteristic of people with autism. Sure, some people with autism might have this characteristic to a more significant degree than others, but most of us like things we are used to and don’t want changes to our favorite activities.
It is OK to have strong preferences. Therefore, if the trains must be lined up a certain way, the tags must be cut out of his shirt, or a thousand other things, my suggestion is to try your best to respect those preferences. Respect doesn’t mean going to unreasonable lengths like driving hundreds of miles because the local grocery store is out of his favorite cereal. Respect doesn’t mean that you accept aggressive behavior when those preferences aren’t possible. But within reason, allow the child to have things the way they would prefer them. We all deserve the opportunity to make choices.
I don’t understand how people eat those “bagel-like” substances, but I’ve never punched anyone who has offered me one. That’s a reasonable expectation.