In the movie It’s a Wonderful Life, when George gets a chance to see what the world would have been like without him, there is a scene where he and the angel Clarence go into Nick’s bar. Clarence has trouble making up his mind about what he wants to drink, and Nick tells him in no uncertain terms about what kind of bar he is in, “We serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast.” That’s probably good marketing. Every business needs to know who they are serving. Nick then threatens to beat him up. It seems like Nick is pissed off that Clarence is so positive.
The scene is the first of many examples showing how awful Bedford Falls would have been if George never would had never been born. All of us have an impact on the world in millions of ways. Nick’s bar is packed. There are lots of people there who want to get drunk fast. I know the feeling of wanting to visit a place like Nick’s bar. After a long day, staff often joke about needing stiff drinks. Pretty much all parents feel like that sometimes, not just parents of children with autism. Probably not just all parents – all people.
The people at Nick’s bar are miserable. Why would they go there? Well, I believe that everyone likes to complain–at least occasionally. Nothing wrong with that. Everyone deserves to complain from time to time. It’s good to have a sympathetic ear. Staff who work with children with autism sometimes need to complain a bit. It can be an extremely challenging job. It would be foolish to try and be positive all the time, no matter what is going on.
Nick, on the other hand, doesn’t want to hear anything positive. He’ll beat you up rather than listen to a positive comment. If you have a “Nick” in your organization, the amount of damage a person like this can do is amazing. A “Nick” can drown out almost any positive. Sometimes we think we can counter the effects of a “Nick” with a bunch of positive “Clarence’s.” You can’t.
Positive influence just doesn’t spread as easily as negative. The negative is dramatic and interesting and it sucks people in. That’s why you rarely see positive stories on the news. “If it bleeds, it leads.” If you have a Nick, the key is to change the behavior quickly or sever ties as soon as possible. The more Nick starts talking to the staff, taking them out for drinks after work, and being a general all-around PITA, the more problems the whole organization is likely to have. One bad apple really can spoil the bunch.